We don’t choose for ourselves when we wake up to a life that looks like ourselves - if you’ve already woken up, you can consider yourself lucky



Once upon a time there was a woman who put the needs of everyone else before her own. The woman lived a busy life, encouraged and supported her friends, was a loyal employee, transported her children to hobbies. There was very little time of its own, and often those moments were spent delicately and immersed in other worlds behind the screens.

The woman was tired and mildly depressed. He had always been interested in spirituality and self-knowledge, but the implementation was mercilessly left in the footsteps of lack of time. Looking at my own life and starting to meditate seemed insurmountable.

The woman knew that if she got a week off from everything, she would drink mojitos and dance wildly so that the heavy everyday life would be forgotten. Breathing exercises and omm sounds would not fit in that vacation. They would require so much more time and endurance. It felt like the years were just rolling by and there was no real change in sight. Until…

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Once upon a time a man. The man lived in a long good relationship, but there were, however, very typically many unresolved issues. Conversation existed, but difficult topics were avoided.

The situation had eroded over the years so that the man had very conflicting feelings about his partner. On the one hand, this was the closest and dearest - on the other hand, there was often a certain atmosphere of dissatisfaction in the relationship. It was easy for the man to become an eye stick when the woman was feeling unwell in her own skins. That seemed to be the case often.

Over time, perpetual greed drove me to the power of despair. The feeling was rejected and downright abandoned. The man felt like life was just a movie that inevitably went in a certain direction and nothing could be done. 


Until

Until he became seriously ill.
Until his loved one died unexpectedly.
Until he experienced exhaustion and burned out.
Until he experienced so much pain that he finally woke up.
Until some surprising coincidence led him to the right place on just the right day and… (Usually along with other options.)
Until the situation got out of hand and he was forced to make choices.
Until the spouse announced that he wanted to divorce.
When the woman woke up
When the woman woke up, she found herself underestimating herself and taking on a heavy role to be accepted in the eyes of others. He had always done so, and therefore it took time to break the pattern.

Gradually, the woman learned to take small moments for herself when she was present for her own thoughts. He was not just an enabler, but an equal man with needs. The woman began to read more and more literature on self-knowledge and found a few methods she decided to try.

It felt like the light was on inside him. Although things were small, they were constantly cultivating more prosperity. The family’s lifestyle also became healthier, and the busy daily rhythm was checked.

 

When the man woke up
When the man woke up after many nasty turns, he began to go into therapy. There she realized that her maternal relationship had been somewhat similar to that of a (now ex-) partner. The man found himself far too flimsy in certain things.

Avoided topics that the partner did not want to go to, even if it was the lifeblood of the relationship. He also instinctively took part in another person’s bad feeling and was unable to draw the line between the other person’s feelings and his own. Life had been very heavy.

The man realized that he didn’t always have to be a kind, flexible, and supportive party. In many cases, important feedback had not been given because of the permanence of the relationship, but ironically, the same thing had eventually turned its fate.

The man began to read about the emotional locks and felt as if he had read about himself. Talking to her ex-partner on the phone, she found herself longing for all the good they had had despite the difficulty.

It was agreed that nothing was certain, and if they met, they would have to talk things over. A man should be honest with himself. The new path of life was only open and beginning, but the man felt butterflies in the abdomen and happiness for a long time.


Critical intersection

Fear of change makes our room content with the familiar safe, even if it causes suffering. Waking up occurs at the intersection where the pain grows over the fear of change. This is because fear of change, fear of loss, and many other fears are subconscious and thus constitute an unquestionable truth.

If we saw our fear-based thought patterns in bright daylight, we could choose to act differently even before our backs are against the wall and are quite compelled. In that case, however, we would have already woken up. Our awakening would have happened sooner, one way or another, but not then by itself.

Life organizes

So if you have already woken up, you can consider yourself quite lucky. It can be assumed that you have not gotten quite easy because something has brought about a change.

We do not choose when the time is right to wake up: life organizes it for us. Once awakened, we can choose to continue on the path of awakening or slow it down. However, the more awake we are, the harder it is to live against ourselves. As awareness grows, we will have to make even difficult decisions and be encouraged for true well-being until life is in line with our values.

Change can take several years, but after that, everything becomes easier. We just keep an eye on the line. Grateful we got up.